Have Fun

First and most importantly, always keep in mind that a wedding is primarily a celebration. It is an opportunity for your family and friends to rejoice in the union of your and your betrothed. Let yourself enjoy it. Most likely, there will be one or two minor problems during the ceremony or the reception. Not only am I going to advise you to not let them bother you, in reality, you should be thankful for them. After all, those are the things that you will be talking about in 15 years. Most of the ceremony will be a blur (until you pull out that wonderful DIPics album of course!) but those two flies that kept landing on your veil or the magical shedding bridal bouquet will be the source of at least smiles if not belly laughs for years to come. Be grateful for those little "misfortunes", they are what make a wedding memorable.

How do you chose a photographer? Well, that will depend on what is most important to you. But, go into the selection process with your eyes open. Most photographers will be more than happy to show you a sample album or two. Actually, they will be thrilled, but don't be fooled into thinking that they are showing you an average album. Most likely they are showing you the best they have ever taken. While this work might be truly spectacular, ask to see the proofs from their last two weddings. This will give you a more accurate idea just what kind of work that the photographer turns out on a normal basis.

Group Pictures

Every photographer would love for you to shoot the group pictures before the wedding. It is less rushed, and much less stressful for the photographer. But, remember, the photographer is there for you, not the reverse. His convenience is secondary to your wishes. If you don't want the bride to be seen by the groom before the ceremony, then remember that we photographer are the hired help. The wedding isn't about the photographer, it is about the two of you.

Make a Little Time

Try to make a little time (about 30 minutes or so) between the wedding and the reception to have with your new spouse (and that pesky photographer). These are your first moments as Husband and Wife so try to go somewhere a bit special and a bit quiet for just a short while. It will give you a time to breathe after the wedding and to prepare for the excitement of the reception. It will also most likely produce the photographs that you will like the most. Those first ones of just the two of you enjoying a quiet moment.

The Reception

It is YOUR reception. It is the informal part of the wedding celebration so, have fun. I recommend trying to do the "expected" things (like cutting the cake, throwing the garter and bouquet, the toast, etc.) within the first two hours of the reception. These events are much more fun if all the guests are still there to participate.

Throwing Rice

Part 1
Back about the mid 1970's, someone came up with the theory (presented as fact) that throwing rice was bad for birds. The theory went that the birds would eat the rice which would expand in their digestive juices and cause them untold distress or even likely kill them. Because of this theory, most couples since then have substituted birdseed for the rice they threw. Just to set the record straight, I have spoken to several rice farmers from South Texas. It seems that, well, they grow rice outside in the first place. And, believe it or not, birds actually eat it straight from the stalk. According to the farmers, there is (unfortunately in their opinion ) no noticeable amount of exploded birds littering their rice fields. So, if you want to bring back a tradition that was almost lost because of an urban legend, feel free to throw rice. The birds won't mind.

Part 2
Earlier this century, the tradition was for the rice to be thrown when the couple exited the church. It has since migrated to when the couple leaves the reception. Now, it is totally up to you (and the caretaker of the reception hall or the church) but, from a photographers standpoint, photos of you running through a double line of your friends with a lovely church in the background tend to look better than with the reception hall in the background.

Part 3
When you run through the rice or birdseed (this advice doesn't apply to bubbles) I highly recommend that you don't follow your instincts. You should look straight ahead and move right along. Most of your guests will be throwing underhand so the rice will be coming from beneath you AND above you. Straight ahead is your best bet for keeping it out of your eyes and mouths (after all, we wouldn't want you exploding from eating uncooked rice).

To-Do List

Every bride advice book gives the advice to make a to-do list. But, most of them seem to forget what is, in my opinion, the most important check list of all. A list of who is in charge of what. And, make copies of this list and give one to everyone on it. This makes sure that there are no misunderstandings like "I thought you were going to pick up all the bridesmaids dresses!".